Suicide Love
by Shinigami's Oni
Summary: 1x2 fic. First fic so please forgive me if its a bit kuso but please feel free to review!!


Suicide Love

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Duo's footsteps echoed as he walked down the aisle of the Maxwell Church shrouded in shadow and mystery the young man halted for a moment staring around him. The pews are empty, deserted and alone as they wait for the next service. Looking up, Duo looked straight in to the eyes of the crucified Jesus, his eyes cold and lifeless as the blood from the crown of thorns trickles down his face. Duo gasped and stepped back a few paces before taking a deep breath and walking straight under Jesus to walk to the confessing room.

Upon entrance to the room he noticed the candles were all lit and their flames licked the sky as he walked deeper in to the confessing room. 

"Heero! What are you doing here?" Duo stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Heero standing in the dead centre of the room, just staring at him.

"Duo, I'm sorry and I love you." Heero pulled out a gun and held it to his head.

"Heero, what are you doing?" Duo slowly moved towards Heero, his hands trembling as he reached out to Heero, hoping this would distract him.

"Goodbye Duo." Heero closed his eyes and pulled the trigger of the gun. A loud bag echoes through the hall as Heero slumped forward to the floor, a pool of blood forming beneath his head, dead.

"Oh my God Heero!" Duo ran to Heero's side then cradled his head in his arms, tears slowly running down his face as he held Heero's body close to him, wallowing in the domain of Shinigami.

"Not again," Duo sat up in his bed hugging his knees to his chest; this was the third time this week that he had had the same dream. Over and over again. Getting up he realised that he was trembling and all because of the simple fact that he loved Heero. Opening his door he went over to Heero's door and pressed his ear to the door listening for the sound of even breathing.

"What are you doing?" Heero's voice came over the living room and made Duo's blood turn to ice, turning slowly he met the cold blue eyes of Heero looking at him intently.

"I, um well, ah was going to the um bathroom." Duo sidled away from Heero's penetrating gaze.

"That's strange seeing as the bathroom is over there." Heero jerked his head to the right.

"Ah, well you know, crap night vision for you." Duo broke away from Heero's gaze and ran back to his room slamming the door behind him. Heero raised his eyebrows in disbelief then walked in to his bedroom. It was strange, whenever he looked at Duo he felt life like a new pulse flutter inside him, a feeling he couldn't pace. Lying down on his bed he closed his eyes and soon fell back to sleep.

"Quatre if your not busy can I speak to you for a minute please." Duo looked pleadingly at his friends, shifting nervously from one foot to another.

"Sure Duo, come in." Quatre smiled at Duo then went back to his cleaning thoroughly dusting his bookshelf. Duo let himself in to the room and closed the door behind him, sitting down tentatively on the edge of Quatre's bed and playing with the end of his braid. Duo thought of his dream and death.

Duo what's wrong?" A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder and yet he nearly jumped out of his skin. Quatre sat down next to him and just stared at the floor waiting for an answer.

"I had that dream again last night, Quatre. I can't take much more of this." Duo flopped back on to Quatre's bed, closing his eyes in sheer confusion; he let a deep sign escape from his body.

"Oh." Quatre sounded thoughtful as he stared down at his friend, Quatre saw the purple shadow under his friend's eyes and realised that Duo was probably anxious to attempt to get any sleep these days. Reaching out a hand Quatre placed it on Duo's forehead feeling his temperature, it was a little bit higher than normal but only by a fraction. Quatre then let his hand run through Duo's fringe pulling out a few knots that were still there.

"I don't know what to do Quatre, I don't want to go up to him and say 'Oh Heero, been having any thoughts of suicide recently?' I can't do that, he'll probably make me see a doctor." Duo opened his violet eyes to look up into Quatre's aquamarine ones.

"Does he say anything during this dream?" Quatre looked down concerned at his friend.

"He's, he says he's sorry and that he loves me." Duo whispered looking away from Quatre's gaze. "I know it's not true, Heero can't love me, I'm a nobody and he's a perfect, beautiful soldier in my opinion." Duo felt a few hot tears roll down his cheeks as he sobbed uncontrollably.

"Duo please, don't do this to yourself." Quatre lay down next to his friend and pulled Duo's head close to his chest to calm him down a but before letting him go.

"Are you sure you're okay now?" Quatre looked deep in to Duo's eyes and realised a slight nod in return.

"I don't want Heero to die Quatre, I love him to much." Duo sat up on the bed again and his eyes filled with fear. "He wouldn't kill himself would he Quatre?" Duo turned to look at Quatre's eyes, pleading.

"I don't know Duo, only time will tell." Quatre gave a deep sigh then stood up and carried on with his cleaning while Duo sat dumbstruck at the thought that Heero might kill himself.

Heero walked slowly back to his room in disbelief; from what he's just heard he now knew that Duo loved him, as absolute shock to the young mans emotional status. He felt confused, worried, but also part of him felt glad to know that someone loved him and that that someone was Duo. Opening the door to his room he walked in, closing and locking the door behind him. Heero sat down at his desk and just stared at the blank laptop screen, normally he would be typing away reviewing old reports, making new reports but today was different. 'Duo loves me.' Heero shook his head attempting to chase the thought away.

Pulling open a drawer in his desk Heero picked up a gun and held it in his hand. The cool metal chilled his skin momentarily but soon warmed up beneath his grasp. He gazed at the weapon knowing that with just one shot it could kill him and he couldn't deny that he hadn't thought quite about ending his life. Putting the gun close to his head and he closed his eyes. Heero realised just how easy it would be to end it all now. His finger tightened on the trigger then he saw Duo, his violet eyes shining as he looked back at Heero, his long chestnut coloured braid swinging behind him as he turned then fell backwards with an awkward kind of grace to the floor. Heero couldn't help but laugh at Duo's clumsiness; for once his laughter wasn't cruel and scornful like it usually was. It was full of delight and joy that the person he loved was having fun.

"Heero! It's not funny, my bum hurts!" Duo pouted as he stared up at Heero but at the same time this time his eyes were shining with fun and laughter. Sitting up suddenly Duo grabbed Heero's hands and pulled him down on top of him.

"I love you." Duo smiled up lazily at Heero before reaching up and gently kissing Heero's lips, Heero kissed him back just enjoying the moment before Duo pulled back and just started at him lovingly with violet eyes that shone brightly.

"Heero shook his head and fell to his knees on the floor, what he couldn't understand was why he was feeling this way although he could guess what it was.

"Do I love Duo?" Heero sat on the floor, his head in his hands thinking hard about the feeling he felt when he looked at Duo. 'I'm the perfect soldier; I should have no emotions yet I think I love Duo. I feel good inside when he looks at me, the way he smiles and the cute…I just said cute; I never use that word. The cute way he wrinkles his nose up when anyone says something disgusting to him, only people who are in love notice those things don't they?' Heero got up off the floor and flopped backwards on to his bed closing his eyes, trying to clear his mind but all the time failing miserably, all the time seeing Duo's face of just Duo as a whole.

"Why do I feel this way about you? Duo, why?" Heero whispered in to the silence of his room. He received to answer.

Giving a deep sign Quatre put down his duster and looked around his room feeling quite proud, then his eyes rested upon Duo. He was just sitting there staring at nothing as his hands played with the end of his braid, a sure sign of nervousness in Quatre's point of view. 

"Duo" Quatre spoke nervously, breaking the silence, watching as Duo jumped at the sound of his name, then he turned his head and looked at Quatre with vacant eyes. Quatre shuddered.

"I'm going to go out for while okay Duo?" Quatre grabbed his coat and walked to his bedroom door and pushed it open.

"I won't be too long." Quatre sighed again and walked down the hallway to the front door closing it quietly.

Duo sniffed then stood up and left Quatre's room and went to his own room. Sitting on his stool he stared at his reflection for a few minutes before taking out his braid and shaking it out behind his creating a chestnut waterfall. Picking up his brush he began to run it through his hair, his strokes slowly ceasing as he thought of Heero's dead face, his dead body lying in his arms. The brush dropped to the floor as Duo covered his face with his hands and wept for Heero. He didn't care that Heero could probably hear crying, he was past the stage of caring, all he wanted was to be with Heero but it was impossible.

Heero opened his eyes slowly; he could hear the sound of someone crying through the thin bedroom wall that he guessed that it was Duo. Standing up he left his room and he walked straight in to Duo's room without knocking, he could see that Duo's hair was undone and found himself thinking the way it fell around Duo's slim figure was quite attractive 'No you mustn't think like that.' Heero shook his head and tried to clear all thoughts of Duo's fragile body in his arms, his mouth hungrily pressed against Duo's as he stole kiss after kiss from those soft, pink lips.

Crossing the room he ran his fingers through Duo's chestnut waves, upon hearing the Deathscythe pilot gasp and tense up before his touch, Heero looked up in to the mirror to find Duo's violet eyes gazing at him. Duo's eyes shone with tears as he stared gob smacked at Heero's reflection, tear tracks flew like rivers down his flushed face cheeks and his bottom lip trembled as he remembered.

"Heero?" Duo whispered as he stared deep in to the reflection of those cobalt eyes.

"Ssshhh Duo, I understand," and with those words he took up the brush and put it to Duo's head then firmly but gently began to brush away the tangle of sorrow. Heero was surprised when Duo closed his eyes and he leant his head back slightly, exposing his pale neck to Heero. Heero shuddered thinking about how his kissed could leave an impression on that creamy skin. Completely unlike his usual controlled manner, Heero round himself relaxing as he brushed Duo's long hair and began to hum without noticing.

Duo felt happier now, hid dream boyfriends was standing above him, paying attention to him for once. He didn't just feel tenderness in those strokes, he thought he felt love but he wasn't sure. Opening his eyes he gazed sleepily up in to Heero's eyes,

"Thank you," He whispered as he smiled a small smile but a smile all the same.

"I know what you think about me DUO Maxwell. The fact that you love me." Heero felt cruel whilst he said this but then again since when had he cared about people feelings? Duo froze as he heard Heero speak those two sentences; they made his blood turn to ice. He stared at Heero's reflection but it was swathed with shadows making his facial expression impossible to see he felt his hair being separated then carefully braided. His breath quickened, as he grew more nervous as each minute rolled by. Heero finished braiding his hair then reached out a hand and found a black hair tie.

Heero tied the band around Duo's hair three times before he was satisfied that it was tight enough, he stopped when he heard an unmistakable sniff from Duo. Then in his reflection he could see tears rolling down the supposed Shinigami's cheeks. Duo felt so ashamed that he was crying in Heero's presence that he bowed his head down and refused to look in to Heero's blue spheres.

"Duo I…"

"No Heero." Duo looked up and grabbed Heero's tanktop, "Please don't die and leave me all alone." His hands fell useless to his sides as sobs flooded his body.

"Duo." Heero knelt down in front of his friend of his friend and brushed some stray hair behind his ear while with the other hand he took Duo's chin and lifted his head up, looking deep into Duo's violet eyes he felt understanding pass between them. "Don't be afraid." Heero leaned forwards; his eyelids dropping as their lips met, a gentle non-demanding kiss was shared before they separated. Heero could feel the hot flush in his cheeks as he stared deep in to Duo's eyes, with a trembling hand Heero reached out and touched Duo's cheek and whispered,

"I can't live without you."


End file.
